I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
