Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
