Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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