I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Text me some of your sweat
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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