The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
