how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
