Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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