hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
third nipple confirmed
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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