Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize