So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
