I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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