Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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