I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
