White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
