SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
