Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
