Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
