I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
