I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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