Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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