going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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