Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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