It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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