Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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