You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize