32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
