i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
