Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
