I have demons in me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
