They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
