In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
