She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
