You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
