if i can run in heels then i can drive
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
