apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
