i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My vagina just clenched in fear
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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