i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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