Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
