FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
