Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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