So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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