Where did you get a picture of my penis
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
