Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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