I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
