Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wish i was in the wii world.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
two words...techno handjob
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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