No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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