just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
