I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
