I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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