i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
