people are starting to question the shark bite story
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
