I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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