She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
