It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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