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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
