yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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