apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
