I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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