The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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