1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize