just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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