Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
