Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
