tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
