i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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