Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
